To Love Again

Caprice Andrade
2 min readNov 14, 2021
Photo by Mareko Tamaleaa on Unsplash

I love myself again.

I feel a fire burning inside me that was before but a pale flame.

Blazing, glowing, flickering. All at once my soul, once smoldering, now roars with passion and hope.

It was so cold before.

The deteriorating foundation of my mentality, emotionality, and spirituality all at once brought me to a state of static. The repercussions of my family and my mental health and my career choices and my relationships and a sudden pandemic all stopped the beating heart of my inner child. I had frostbite in my very essence and a chilling sensation of nothingness.

For 20 months I was still.

I was cold before; so so cold.

But just as winter must come to a stop eventually, my self pity too ceased.

I feel it in my chest now.

The window of my soul is open again and I can let the warm breeze in. It’s kind and inviting. And in the absence of self pity there became an influx of love.

And so I loved again.

I accepted change and welcomed newfound comfort in my skin. I rekindled the distance I drew from others on my own accord and most importantly I rekindled the distance I drew from myself. It is fascinating what they say about attracting what you are, because just as I became tender with me, I found you. I found you, the one who treats my soul with the most respect and kindness a human could possibly give selflessly.

Love overflows from my eyes and spills into the crevices of my face. I loved life before meeting you, and you’ve come to enrich it.

I love myself again.

All at once my soul, once smoldering, now roars with passion and hope.

It was so cold before, but I love life again. And just as I love myself, I hope to always love you too.

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